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All I ever wanted was to be a father.

A husband, teacher, protector, provider; all I ever saw for myself as a kid, and I looked forward to it.

After some years, that desire grew, but my heart and depressed brain constantly told me it was impossible. It became the number one thing I would wish for and think about at night, the number one aspiration I’d tell my friends and family, and the number one thought causing spirals into self harm, alcohol abuse, and a lot of cryspells.

As time goes on, and my health deteriorates and my faith in the world slips along with it; I’ve accepted that it truly will never ever happen.

Unfortunately, this story doesn’t have a happy ending; but I wanted to share it here , because when I have posted here in the past, I’ve received a great deal of respectful conversation and support; but moreso than that, I wanted to give a little reminder.

Being a father seems to be one of the hardest things one could ever do, and I’m sure at times it gets so stressful and so defeating, and sometimes maybe you feel like you don’t want to do it anymore; I think that is all valid, but I want y’all to remember, some men would KILL to be in your shoes, some men dream of having a son to protect or a daughter to show the world, some men lie awake wishing they could hear that little sweet voice calling them dad.

Some men, if I can just speak for myself, want nothing more than to be a father.

Trust me, you may not feel appreciated in society, but I promise you are envied by some. You worked to get where you are, and you’ve worked hard, I don’t doubt that; but please hear me when I say, you are so very lucky.

I applaud all of you so much, and I’m proud of you.

Give your kiddos a hug for me, and I hope you all have an amazing loving fathers day, sincerely.

Much love guys.

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