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Family

Needing Some Feedback

I’m 27, and I was having a conversation with my sister about our dating lives. Basically “How long should I date before I get married?” She’s been dating a wonderful man for about a year or so, and I simply replied “Two to four years, but that’s just me.” She questioned my reasoning because “A lot of women won’t wait that long because they wanna have kids.” To which I proclaimed my child free nature, as well as adding “if she really loves me, she’ll respect my boundaries.” She accepted that answer, but the reply has still bugged me this afternoon.

Ladies, would you stay with a man at least two years before marriage? So you two could really get to know each other before making a permanent commitment.

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Family

Psych TV/movies and Childfree

Just watched the latest movie in the franchise, which came out last year. Once more, they had the kid talk between Shawn and Juliet, and they both agrees they don’t want kids, but Juliet was unsure.

I genuinely hope they don’t have kids, and the writers/cast keep them childfree. I can’t think of a single character who was intentionally written to not want kids, and stayed that way.

Everytime someone says no kids, they always change their mind and it angers me so much.

In the movie they even wrote an amazing scene where Shawn’s dad claims Shawn will change his mind now that his bff is going to be a dad, and Shawn says he doesn’t think they will. It would be so much more impactful if they stayed childfree, and not have a child or even try for a baby and discover they are childless.

Do you agree? Do you know of any characters who are written as childfree and kept childfree?

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Family

Cant decide when/if it’s worth it to transition from BC to salpingectomy bc I’m scared no matter what

I know for a fact I do not want to birth a child and currently have an IUD and use condoms but I still get worried about getting pregnant and never want it to happen so I am wondering when is the right time to get the surgery?
If I could I’d get the surgery now but the thing to Surgery scares me too. It’s all so scary and I wish I wasn’t a female sometimes :[
I am very young and have time especially bc I literally JUST got my iud a few weeks ago so Ik i should give it a chance but still. Even 99% doesn’t feel like enough sometimes?? Anyways I am mostly ranting bc. I know nothing is 100?fective just close to that but am having trouble believing the logic oof. Ugh. Hate being fertile

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Family

I don’t want children. Ever!

I took care of my mother when she got sick. I was raised by a single mom and in the end of her life she told me everything that was wrong about her marriage. I loved her dearly and try to do what I could for her during the last years of her life but I just cannot imagine taking responsibility for other people ever again. My life is difficult enough the way it is. Imagining to have a baby crying all the time and taking care of its shit gives me the creeps. The thought it could be disabled gives me double creeps. When I talk to children nowadays they are just soooo annoying most of the time. No logic reasoning on their side + just annoying. I can’t even take care of my own plants .

My bf wants kids one day and I know that he will have them with someone else. We are in an open relationship so that is ok for me. But given that he is 31 and has not finished his education after 10 years of studying I definitely ask myself how he thinks he could take care of a child when he can’t even finish his own damn studies. Not procreating material either.

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Family

why does everyone want kids???

Ok so this is a rant and I’m literally brand new to this subreddit and I love it already. Today I was talking to someone I liked and they said they wanted kids and that they could change my mind with their nephew and I couldn’t help but get the ick, I’m 19NB and I dont understand how people my age want to have kids or know they want them, the sole thought of having to care for a screaming child that’s looks like a potato sends my mind reeling Into anxiety, I’m a virgin and every period I still have anxiety attacks when they’re late.
Why does everyone my age that I like wants kids, I’ve been rejected because i don’t want kids at my age like I’m supposed to know and make up my mind
Also I’ve never found children cute, especially babies, when i was little I hated baby dolls and my extended family would buy me baby dolls and I’d throw them out and play with my stuffed animals instead, tbh my favourite toys as a kid was my road playmat and my water table with water canals n stuff. I’m just really thankful my parents didn’t push me into family making and instead pushed me into my career and stuff.
I’d love to hear this communities thoughts so I can discuss these things :3

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Family

I never want to have a kid because I would NEVER be able to handle the stress of it.

I don’t mind raising kids in videogames, since they aren’t real and they aren’t NEARLY as difficult to take care of as real ones. But when it comes to real life, I could never see myself having a kid because I’m horrible at managing stress. I have some mental disorders that make stress way more intense for me than it should be and I just know that if I had a kid and it started acting up, I would start hurting myself/scratching at myself out of stress at not knowing what to do. Even though I haven’t self-harmed since I think late 2021, I know I’m still capable of doing it even if I’m on my meds if I’m under enough stress where I don’t have control over everything, and when I lose control I completely lose it, too. It’s an ugly mixture of anger mixed with pure panic due to the stress, and I don’t want anybody to have to see that, especially a kid.

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Family

Parents LOST IT after I told them about my hysterectomy

Just needing some support. I am getting a hysterectomy for endometriosis that has ravaged me for 12 years. I’ve tried other options but nothing has fully worked and I’ve NEVER wanted kids.

I finally decided on the hyst and got it booked and just told my parents. You would have thought I told them that a loved one died. They LOST it, they balled their eyes out, sobbing harder than I have ever seen them cry before. They are utterly devastated and even though I have made it clear before I wouldn’t have kids, they of course thought I would change my mind.

They insisted over and over that I would regret it and that they didn’t want kids until they changed their mind and had me and it was the best decision of their lives. After a lot of talking they understand my decision but are still incredibly sad to not have grandkids in their future.

I feel awful that they are so upset and I’d be lying if I didn’t say that they sewed a tiny seed of doubt in me after all that insisting that I’d change my mind. I’ve always been VERY sure of not wanting kids but now that it’s time to make an irreversible decision about that I’m a bit scared. Can I just some support and maybe some words to cheer me up? TIA.

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Family

Someone wished kids upon me after I said I was childfree

I’ve tried to shake this off for days but I can’t so I’m here to rant!

Last week at was chatting with friends from uni when the topic of children came up and I said I wasn’t having any, this one guy who’s known for being a bit… Conservative immediately said «I can already see you with two children by the time we graduate»

WE ARE EIGHTEEN. This guy thought it was appropriate to tell me I was going to have two kids by the time I’m 22, after being told I would be miserable if I had kids.

I told him «why would you wish something like that to happen to me after I said I don’t want kids?» I’m kinda proud of myself for not staying quiet and shutting him up, still mad tho.

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Family

It’s not perfect, but it’s enough for now…

After 6 months of taking progestin pills, I’ve finally stopped ovulating!

It means no more period, endo cramps, mood swings, and hormone-related acne. I also have a much lower chance of getting pregnant – which is not perfect, but it is acceptable for now. I don’t have a partner, and I’m not sexually active, so I’m not focusing on that part yet.

I’m just really happy that I won’t have to suffer every month and I can enjoy my life to the fullest everyday.

My mom is worried that taking these pills would lead to infertility someday, but I don’t really care. I’m planning to be surgically sterilized as soon as I’m in the allowed age bracket, and I find a doctor/hospital that is willing to do it. I’m not too concerned about the insurance part because I know I can save enough money to pay for it if necessary.

Childfreedom feels good. 🙂

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Family

Vasectomy at 18 in Idaho? Any advice

I turned 18 2 months ago. My life was chaotic so I forgot about it but I can now legally get a vasectomy.

I am on Medicaid but I’m not sure if they will pay for my vasectomy. I don’t really know how to ask.

My main 4 reasons are

1. The Theocracy is cracking down on dissenters, especially ones who get sterilized. I live in a far-right reactionary state. I will never want kids, so I’d rather get it now in case it would become illegal.

2. I am finally 18 and can choose.

3. I have manic episodes that I barely remember. I’m worried I could get into a sexual situation and be unable to control myself. At least if that happened and I had a vasectomy, it wouldn’t be life ruining.

4. I think it would help with my dysphoria.

The problem is, I am immune to all forms of local anesthetics. My dad has this so it’s a genetic thing. I’d need to be fully knocked out. I know that’s possible but don’t know where to ask. I really don’t know any of this. I’ve never managed my own medical stuff before. I don’t want my parents to know, my dad is reactionary so he doesn’t get to know I’m not a man, my mom is fine with it but wants grandkids so I am worried. I live with her. She can’t know, at least until it’s done.

I don’t have sex and plan not to, but again with the manic episodes I probably will. I almost did once but caught myself before I drove to her house. This scares me. The moral implications of fathering a child, to me, are similar to killing someone in cold blood. I couldn’t live with myself, even if I’m not paying child support or anything. I need a solution quickly. Does anyone have any information on how to get a full sedation vasectomy?